Personal Goals

Why Your Resolutions Often Fail – And What You Can Do to Succeed

December 16, 2011 By Barry

90 – 95% of New Year’s Resolutions fail.

Whether we’re trying to save more money, lose weight or stop smoking, we run into difficulties. That’s because these things have created other habits in our lives.

This year, rather than saying “New Year’s resolution”, you might want to call your goal a “New Year’s promise” – this has a greater level of integrity. Give your word and keep your word … but to fewer things.

Building a New Habit

It requires discipline to keep to a resolution and build a new habit. (Once the habit is ingrained, it becomes easy.) Instead of trying to do everything at once, choose only one or two major resolutions at any one time, then work on them for at least two or three months. Then you can pick another one or two.

To be more disciplined, you need to take poor choices away. Keep cookies and ice-cream out of the house: if it’s not there and you really want it, then go to the store.

If you can, make the “right” choice automatic. If you want to save more money, set up a regular payroll deduction so that the savings are made automatically without you having to take any action.

Breaking Old Patterns

We have to break patterns so that new worlds will emerge.

How motivated are you? How desirable is that change? Do you genuinely want it … and do you truly have the ability to do it? Without the motivation and ability, no amount of support will help.

Look for two key levels of support:

Social support
Structural support

Social Support

Family, friends and colleagues can all help to encourage you towards your goals. Accountability is a powerful force – if you tell people what you’re going to do, you’re more likely to stick with it.

Look for innovative ways to use this social support: e.g. “If I don’t keep to this, I’ll pay you $1,000…”

Structural Support

Organize things to maximize your chance of reaching your goal.

Some people hire personal chefs or get food services to deliver portion-controlled, nutritionally-balanced meals to their home. This isn’t overly expensive compared with going to a restaurant – perhaps $5 – $10 per meal.

One New Year’s Resolution Examined: Losing Weight – Successfully

Over two-thirds of Americans are overweight and obese, making “losing weight” a very common New Year’s resolution.

You may have tried and failed to lose weight before. If the behavior you engaged in before didn’t work, then change it. If you’re doing a certain type of exercise and not losing weight, then you need to change your routine, and look at the foods you’re eating.

It takes a 3,500 calorie deficit to lose one pound. To lose weight, you need to exercise and burn extra calories, or you need to take fewer calories in: ideally, you’ll do both.

These tips can help:

Out of sight, out of mind: don’t keep candy dishes around the house during the holidays. Put food away and out of sight. Empty out the candy stash in your office drawer.
Work on your goal as part of a community, e.g. at your office. Many offices will have a weight-loss challenges and regular weigh-ins together. They may have a personal trainer come in a couple of days a week and run exercise classes at work.

Don’t get hung up on achieving the “perfect” figure. You may simply need to be happy with who you are and what you have. If you exercise and eat fairly well, then accept your natural shape.

If you’re interested in improving your health, take the free real age test online: this lets you look at different factors that can make you more youthful and vibrant.

Help and Support with Your Resolutions

It can be tough to make changes on your own. If you want to improve your professional life or personal life, take a look at my coaching services or contact me with any questions. I would be delighted to help you to take new strides in 2012.

“I heartily recommend Barry for any individual or organization that wants to realize their potential.” – Ted Canaday.

Four Simple Tips for Healthy Eating During the Holidays

December 6, 2011 By Barry

“Healthiness” isn’t a black-or-white, all-or-nothing scenario. You can still eat healthily during the holiday season – without avoiding networking events and parties.

Tip #1: Avoid attending events when you’re ravenous

Grab a piece of fruit, a few crackers or even just a glass of water before you leave the house. It doesn’t look good when you go to an event and gorge – and it’s not great for your health either.

Tip #2: Use a small plate at buffets

If you’re at a buffet or similar, place the food on the smallest plate you can: you’ll have a satisfyingly “full” plate. Try to make half the plate healthier choices – like vegetables, fruits, even nuts.

Tip #3: Try eating a small piece of dessert first.

If there’s something chocolate (especially dark chocolate) or similar that you fancy, go for that. The fat in the chocolate helps to give you a feeling of satiation and satisfaction.

Tip #4: Eat more slowly than usual

Give your food time to digest: it takes twenty minutes for your brain to register that your stomach is full.

If you’re currently overweight, unfit, or unhealthy, you may need to make big, radical changes in your lifestyle in order to achieve healthiness. Sadly, it’s not easy to change. “Change or Die” in Fast Company magazine found that the odds were nine to one against change – for people who had a serious, life-threatening condition.

In order to succeed, you need to:

Get as much social support as you can: from friends, colleagues, family, personal trainers and so on. Ask them to hold you accountable.
Build in structural support – remove unhealthy foods containing trans fats and high-fructose corn syrup from your home. Stock up on fruits and vegetables.

Don’t wait until the New Year to start eating more healthily: you can begin now.

Think about an upcoming holiday event that involves food – perhaps a family meal or a work buffet. Which tips will you implement in order to ensure that you make healthy choices?

Be Happier in Your Career by Finding and Expressing Your True Values

November 2, 2011 By Barry

If you’re going in the wrong direction, derailing yourself intentionally is very difficult – but very worthwhile.

During the current economic troubles, many people’s plans have been derailed – and perhaps this has happened to you too. If so, see it as a time of excitement and opportunity: a chance to re-explore the question of what you were meant to do.

Alternatively, you may be carrying on in a role that hasn’t suited you for some time, if ever. Perhaps it’s time to do something different.

When people are doing what they’re meant to do, most of them have a big grin on their face. Do you? Consider this: How you spend your day and who you spend it with is your life.

Perhaps you feel that you have to spend your day around people who you’d rather not be with. Ask yourself: If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I do?

What Are Your Values?

Our core values rarely change – they’re constant throughout our lives. We can bring them to any situation and examine where and how they could be expressed.

Here are some questions you could ask yourself, based on my own core values:

What actions could you take to enjoy better health?
How could you show more integrity?
Where could you be more courageous?
What opportunities exist to build extraordinary relationships in your life?
How can you model greater leadership at work and at home?

Look at your skills and passions, and ask yourself how your values could be expressed through these. How could doing this be a catalyst for a new career opportunity?

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Journey Toward Personal and Professional Goals – Local Speaking Event

July 15, 2011 By Barry

Barry Demp Speaks at Career Path Network — Tuesday, July 19th at St. Irenaeus

Do you have questions about your job search? Do you feel like you’re going about it the right way? Do you feel like you could do better at planning and managing your time? Come to the Career Path Network event on Tuesday, July 19 to get some of your questions answered and revitalize your job search.

Barry Demp, who has appeared at St. Irenaeus before and presents at many of the area faith-based career groups, will help participants focus on strategies and tactics needed to improve their job search, time management and life style skills. Demp is a Master Certified Coach with over 29 years of sales and business development experience with a Fortune 500 company. In the past 19 years, he has worked with over 1,000 individuals and trained over 60 career coaches. His business and executive coaching services are complemented with life coaching.

Mr. Demp will field questions from the group and focus on breaking patterns in order to open up new worlds of possibility. Come prepared to ask about the most critical priorities and challenges you are facing in your ongoing job search.

This event will be followed by a structured networking session.

How To Register

RSVP to reserve your seat today by going to www.barrydemp.eventbrite.com.

Directions To Location

St. Irenaeus Church on Google

St. Irenaeus Career Path Online

Connect with us by joining our LinkedIn.com Group by searching – “St. Irenaeus Career Path Network”

Making It Stick: Achieving Sustainable Change

December 15, 2010 By Barry

Coach Barry Demp was recently asked some questions about why people have great difficulty in achieving sustainable change in their lives. Here are a few excerpts from the interview:

What causes change to be difficult to sustain for many individuals?

There are three primary things that seem to affect people’s ability to change. First appears to be a lack of commitment. Second is an inadequate support structure both socially and structurally. And the third is the great difficulty people have turning new behavior into sustainable habits.

What are some of the things that you recommend for those who struggle with sustaining personal change?

Select only one, or very few, highly important commitments and provide ongoing rigorous support both on a social and structural level. Breakdown the goal into measurable milestones to make the goal that you set less overwhelming and more achievable.

You mentioned a Project Action Plan or Blueprint. What is that?

A Project Action Plan is a roadmap that allows you to identify and execute on a powerful committed goal with a clear destination. By designing specific, iterative action steps that you enjoy you will have a greater rate of success. Key ingredients that assist in seeing the best results from your action plan are establishing time sensitive tasks and using scoreboards to record and visualize your progress towards achieving your goal.

Visualize the Achievement of Your Goal

It is important to review your goal frequently. The more detailed you can make your vision, the more powerful it will be. Tools that you can use to help envision the achievement your goal are using a picture or image as a reminder, and creating relevant scorecards to measure progress.

Goal Affirmation

Every morning read your goal either silently or aloud. Reflect on your progress at the end of your day. Consider using a buddy system or a family member to help sustain the process. Additional support structures can include email and voicemail accountabilities.

Take Massive Action

Persistence and determination will keep you on the success track anytime obstacles stand in your way. By taking continuous massive action, you will eventually reach the point where nothing can stop you. What stopped you in the past is now just a tiny bump in the road.

Take One Specific Action

Take at least one specific action every day to propel you toward your goal. By taking continuous specific action, you develop the necessary discipline and momentum that you will need to achieve your goals. Any worthwhile goal requires sustained effort and continual organization such as placing important events or tasks in a calendar system. By consistently applying the methods above, you will develop the success habits that will enable you to achieve the goal that you desire.

Recommended reading resources from Barry Demp:

The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield

Getting Things Done by David Allen

Work Less, Make More by Jennifer White

Made to Stick by Chip Heath

Influencer: The Power to Change Anything

Making It Stick: Thoughts on Creating Sustainable Change

November 19, 2010 By Barry

We are only a few weeks away from the New Year and many people are beginning to plan for their New Years Resolution. A question on many peoples mind is often, “Why don’t over 90% of resolutions stick?”

In an article from FastCompany.com in 2005 there was an interesting statistic that shocked many that discussed the percentage of people who would actually change in the face of impending death. The article called “Change or Die” discussed the science and behavior behind people’s willingness or lack of willingness to change.

Below are some reasons why change is so challenging and also a few strategies to consider for improving your odds.

Identifying the Right Goal

The first step is to find a goal that is big enough to inspire you. Unless you are truly inspired to accomplish the goal, it is just a wish. By calling it a “goal”, you are affirming that (a) you desire it intensely, (b) you truly believe in your ability to achieve your goal and (c) you are willing to pay the price in advance for achieving your goal.

Document Your Goal

Writing out your goal stimulates the “filtering” part of your brain, called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). When you write down your goal, the RAS begins collecting relevant information, then sends results to the conscious part of your mind. It acts “behind the scenes”, causing you to become aware of opportunities that would have otherwise gone unnoticed. Make sure that the goal is positive, is written in the present tense, is action-oriented, and is specific and as detailed as possible.

Establish a Deadline

By setting a deadline, your subconscious is activated to ensure the achievement of your goal within the prescribed time frame. If you follow all of the steps in this process, and your projections are realistic, then you will achieve your goal by the deadline.

Determine the Benefit

You will only be compelled to achieve your goal if it is something that inspires you; something that causes such intense desire in you that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal. By writing down the reasons you want to achieve your goal, you’ll discover how intense your desire really is.

Identify the Roadblocks

There will probably be several elements standing between you and your goal. Make a list of these “challenges”, and rank them in order of priority. Then, begin taking action to remove each of the elements that stands in the way of the accomplishment of your goal.

I welcome the opportunity to learn how you have used the information posted in our “Making It Stick” blog series in your life and can be contacted at 248-740-3231 or through my website – Michigan Business and Personal Coach.

When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge – Barry Demp Coaching