Personal Motivation

Why Your Resolutions Often Fail – And What You Can Do to Succeed

December 16, 2011 By Barry

90 – 95% of New Year’s Resolutions fail.

Whether we’re trying to save more money, lose weight or stop smoking, we run into difficulties. That’s because these things have created other habits in our lives.

This year, rather than saying “New Year’s resolution”, you might want to call your goal a “New Year’s promise” – this has a greater level of integrity. Give your word and keep your word … but to fewer things.

Building a New Habit

It requires discipline to keep to a resolution and build a new habit. (Once the habit is ingrained, it becomes easy.) Instead of trying to do everything at once, choose only one or two major resolutions at any one time, then work on them for at least two or three months. Then you can pick another one or two.

To be more disciplined, you need to take poor choices away. Keep cookies and ice-cream out of the house: if it’s not there and you really want it, then go to the store.

If you can, make the “right” choice automatic. If you want to save more money, set up a regular payroll deduction so that the savings are made automatically without you having to take any action.

Breaking Old Patterns

We have to break patterns so that new worlds will emerge.

How motivated are you? How desirable is that change? Do you genuinely want it … and do you truly have the ability to do it? Without the motivation and ability, no amount of support will help.

Look for two key levels of support:

Social support
Structural support

Social Support

Family, friends and colleagues can all help to encourage you towards your goals. Accountability is a powerful force – if you tell people what you’re going to do, you’re more likely to stick with it.

Look for innovative ways to use this social support: e.g. “If I don’t keep to this, I’ll pay you $1,000…”

Structural Support

Organize things to maximize your chance of reaching your goal.

Some people hire personal chefs or get food services to deliver portion-controlled, nutritionally-balanced meals to their home. This isn’t overly expensive compared with going to a restaurant – perhaps $5 – $10 per meal.

One New Year’s Resolution Examined: Losing Weight – Successfully

Over two-thirds of Americans are overweight and obese, making “losing weight” a very common New Year’s resolution.

You may have tried and failed to lose weight before. If the behavior you engaged in before didn’t work, then change it. If you’re doing a certain type of exercise and not losing weight, then you need to change your routine, and look at the foods you’re eating.

It takes a 3,500 calorie deficit to lose one pound. To lose weight, you need to exercise and burn extra calories, or you need to take fewer calories in: ideally, you’ll do both.

These tips can help:

Out of sight, out of mind: don’t keep candy dishes around the house during the holidays. Put food away and out of sight. Empty out the candy stash in your office drawer.
Work on your goal as part of a community, e.g. at your office. Many offices will have a weight-loss challenges and regular weigh-ins together. They may have a personal trainer come in a couple of days a week and run exercise classes at work.

Don’t get hung up on achieving the “perfect” figure. You may simply need to be happy with who you are and what you have. If you exercise and eat fairly well, then accept your natural shape.

If you’re interested in improving your health, take the free real age test online: this lets you look at different factors that can make you more youthful and vibrant.

Help and Support with Your Resolutions

It can be tough to make changes on your own. If you want to improve your professional life or personal life, take a look at my coaching services or contact me with any questions. I would be delighted to help you to take new strides in 2012.

“I heartily recommend Barry for any individual or organization that wants to realize their potential.” – Ted Canaday.

Extra Reading: Three Posts You May Have Missed

October 4, 2011 By Barry

I have had several guest posts published on large self-improvement websites. You can follow the links here to catch up with recent ones:

Why You Need a Pre-Emptive Strike Against Interruptions on Work Happy Now

This post explains the concept of a “pre-emptive strike” in business terms, and shows you how to use these effectively to avoid interruptions.

You may have certain high-maintenance employees and co-workers who tend to interrupt a lot and ruin your momentum. Maybe you get a phone call, or they pop into your office – however the interruption comes, it breaks your flow. This is when a pre-emptive strike is warranted.

Four Steps to Change Your Life – With Books on Dumb Little Man

Can books really change your life? Yes – if you use them correctly. In this post, I explain how to do that in four simple steps.

As a coach, educator and self professed life-long learner, I believe that books are one of the very best bargains around – with years of experience and best practice crammed into a $20 package.

Take the Stress Out of Your Small Business – Today on FeelGooder

If you run your own business, you may well experience considerable stress. This post explains how you can redesign your environment, and how you can avoid and manage stress.

You have the opportunity to design your environment. That means asking yourself:

What do I want to do more of?
What do I want to do less of?
What do I want to start doing?
What do I want to stop doing?

Take the time to read one (or more!) of these posts today. If you would like to receive regular posts from me, you can get RSS updates from my blog straight to your feed reader by clicking this link.

Challenge 2011: Create and Sustain Your Personal Motivation

January 19, 2011 By Barry

As the end of January nears, the resolutions that were strong only just a few weeks ago begin to wear off for some and habits from the past return. How will you sustain your personal motivation in 2011? Perhaps some of these quotes can offer an interesting perspective and serve as healthy reminders.

“It is better to follow the Voice inside and be at war with the whole world, than to follow the ways of the world and be at war with your deepest self.”

– Michael Pastore

“The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn…and change.”

– Carl Rogers

“Man is what he believes.”

– Anton Chekhov

I welcome the opportunity to learn how you are using tools and information to sustain your goals for 2011 and can be contacted at 248-740-3231 or through my website – Troy Michigan Business and Personal Coach.

Positive Motivation and Momentum To Start 2011

January 10, 2011 By Barry

2011 will offer many opportunities for change and challenges for both personal and professional growth. As these opportunities and challenges enter our lives, it is helpful to maintain a balanced perspective towards the positive outcomes that are developed from creating sustainable change. With this in mind, here are some thoughts to consider:

“The secret of man’s being is not only to live but to have something to live for.”

– Dostoyevsky

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: Your mind trancends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed of yourself to be.”

– Patanjali

“I expect to spend the rest of my life in the future so I want to be reasonably sure what kind of future it’s going to be. That is my reason for planning.”

– C.F. Kettering

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“I don’t know what your destiny will be but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to server.”

– Albert Schweitzer

I welcome the opportunity to learn how you are using tools and information to sustain your goals for 2011 and can be contacted at 248-740-3231 or through my website – Michigan Business and Personal Coach.

Motivational Quotes For Your 2011 Preparation

December 30, 2010 By Barry

Motivation will play a big factor as you prepare your personal life and career for the New Year. With this in mind, we encourage you to take a few moments and to read the quotes below and reflect on how you plan to make 2011 your best year yet. The entire team at Barry Demp Coaching wishes you a happy and prosperous 2011.

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”
– Virginia Satir

“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
– William James

“Everything that happens to you is your teacher. The secret is to learn to sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.”
– Polly B. Berends

“In the world that is constantly changing, there is no one subject that will serve you for the foreseeable future, let alone for the rest of your life. The most important skill to acquire now is learning how to learn.”
– John Naisbitt

“Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing.”
– Helen Keller

Launching a New Life in the New Year

December 22, 2010 By Barry

As we launch ourselves into a New Year I thought I would share a series of quotes from a book called Life Launch by Frederic M. Hudson and Pamela D. McLean. Enjoy!

“Your past cannot be changed, but can change tomorrow by your actions today.”
– David McNally

“The daily pressures to act, to do, to decide, make it difficult to stop and think, to consider and to examine your life goals, directions, and priorities – to find the best choices you have managing your own world.”
– Roy Menninger

“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if the can’t find them, make them.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“Developing a mission means seeing a pattern in the things and though that get you moving; assessing your resources; then formulating your feelings into words.”
– Charles Garfield

“Is there something in your life you would like to change? If so, first change your perception of the problem. When you can see yourself and your situation differently, you have already taken on the responsibility for your success.”
– Marilee Zdenek

Making It Stick: Thoughts on Creating Sustainable Change

November 19, 2010 By Barry

We are only a few weeks away from the New Year and many people are beginning to plan for their New Years Resolution. A question on many peoples mind is often, “Why don’t over 90% of resolutions stick?”

In an article from FastCompany.com in 2005 there was an interesting statistic that shocked many that discussed the percentage of people who would actually change in the face of impending death. The article called “Change or Die” discussed the science and behavior behind people’s willingness or lack of willingness to change.

Below are some reasons why change is so challenging and also a few strategies to consider for improving your odds.

Identifying the Right Goal

The first step is to find a goal that is big enough to inspire you. Unless you are truly inspired to accomplish the goal, it is just a wish. By calling it a “goal”, you are affirming that (a) you desire it intensely, (b) you truly believe in your ability to achieve your goal and (c) you are willing to pay the price in advance for achieving your goal.

Document Your Goal

Writing out your goal stimulates the “filtering” part of your brain, called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). When you write down your goal, the RAS begins collecting relevant information, then sends results to the conscious part of your mind. It acts “behind the scenes”, causing you to become aware of opportunities that would have otherwise gone unnoticed. Make sure that the goal is positive, is written in the present tense, is action-oriented, and is specific and as detailed as possible.

Establish a Deadline

By setting a deadline, your subconscious is activated to ensure the achievement of your goal within the prescribed time frame. If you follow all of the steps in this process, and your projections are realistic, then you will achieve your goal by the deadline.

Determine the Benefit

You will only be compelled to achieve your goal if it is something that inspires you; something that causes such intense desire in you that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal. By writing down the reasons you want to achieve your goal, you’ll discover how intense your desire really is.

Identify the Roadblocks

There will probably be several elements standing between you and your goal. Make a list of these “challenges”, and rank them in order of priority. Then, begin taking action to remove each of the elements that stands in the way of the accomplishment of your goal.

I welcome the opportunity to learn how you have used the information posted in our “Making It Stick” blog series in your life and can be contacted at 248-740-3231 or through my website – Michigan Business and Personal Coach.

When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge – Barry Demp Coaching