Personal and Professional Goals

Be Happier in Your Career by Finding and Expressing Your True Values

November 2, 2011 By Barry

If you’re going in the wrong direction, derailing yourself intentionally is very difficult – but very worthwhile.

During the current economic troubles, many people’s plans have been derailed – and perhaps this has happened to you too. If so, see it as a time of excitement and opportunity: a chance to re-explore the question of what you were meant to do.

Alternatively, you may be carrying on in a role that hasn’t suited you for some time, if ever. Perhaps it’s time to do something different.

When people are doing what they’re meant to do, most of them have a big grin on their face. Do you? Consider this: How you spend your day and who you spend it with is your life.

Perhaps you feel that you have to spend your day around people who you’d rather not be with. Ask yourself: If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I do?

What Are Your Values?

Our core values rarely change – they’re constant throughout our lives. We can bring them to any situation and examine where and how they could be expressed.

Here are some questions you could ask yourself, based on my own core values:

What actions could you take to enjoy better health?
How could you show more integrity?
Where could you be more courageous?
What opportunities exist to build extraordinary relationships in your life?
How can you model greater leadership at work and at home?

Look at your skills and passions, and ask yourself how your values could be expressed through these. How could doing this be a catalyst for a new career opportunity?

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How to Say No – Without Damaging Your Relationships

September 21, 2011 By Barry

A “no” uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a “yes” merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

– Mahatma Gandhi

One of the biggest reasons why people don’t like to say no is because they don’t want to damage a relationship.

There’s a great book called The Power of a Positive No by William Ury. The basis of this book is that there has to be an underlying yes that causes you to say no. The book gives a three-step process:

Step #1: Uncovering your “yes”

What’s the “yes” that you’re committed to, or that you believe in, or that you’re passionate about? This might be your family, your health, your well being, or doing work that you love.

In order to find a “yes”, it’s really important to understand our values, our beliefs, our commitments and our priorities. If we understand those things, we can make decisions that fit with them. Sometimes, that requires us to say “no” – but it also allows the person on the other side of the “no” to understand our reasoning.

Step #2: Empower your “no”

Use your “yes” as a reason and a justification to help you recognize that “no” is an appropriate response.

Saying “no” is about being present to what matters – and if we don’t say “no”, it costs us.

Step #3: Find an alternative “yes”

Decline the request gracefully, and instead of just saying “no”, offer an additional option or suggestion to help the person solve the problem, without you necessarily being involved.

When I have to say “no” to someone, I acknowledge that the request that they’re making does appear important, valuable, useful and/or relevant. I share the circumstances that prevent me from helping, or that have me make a different choice.

Observe your unhealthy yes’s and unhealthy no’s and reflect on what works and what doesn’t work. For instance, you might know that you need seven hours sleep to be your best, so you don’t want to say “yes” to a friend’s request to have another drink in the evening.

Take a moment to think about the things that you want to say “yes” to in your life. Is there anything that you need to say “no” to, as a result of these?

Seven Stress Management Techniques for the Workplace

August 24, 2011 By Barry

In every career, you’ll experience moments of stress in the workplace. In order to help reduce this, I recommend trying one or more of the following stress management techniques:

#1: Conduct “standing meetings”. When someone enters your office, stand up to talk to them. This will let them know that you have very limited time. Also, consider conducting a “walking meeting” so that issues can be discussed on the move.

#2: Learn the difference between the “urgent” and the “important” and make time for the latter. Are there any areas of your life that keep getting pushed aside? You won’t just “find” a few spare hours – you have to deliberately plan ahead to set this time aside.

#3: Let your actions spring from your personal goals and values. By living by your values, you’ll lead an authentic life where who you are is strongly connected to what you do. Values are part of the very fabric of our being and are fundamental to what makes us human.

#4: Eat your “elephant” one bite at a time. Break up your big projects into little projects. Turn your little projects into a list of individual tasks. Trying to put your whole “elephant” on one plate will only lead to overwhelm.

#5: Reward yourself for reaching particular goals. This helps to reinforce the behaviors you are developing. Ensure that your rewards don’t undo your hard work (for instance, avoid rewarding yourself for losing 2lbs by eating a large slice of pizza!)

#6: Take regular exercise. That means at least an hour of some moderate activity each day: try exercising first thing in the morning to make sure that you fit it in. You can split this into 20-30 minute segments if you prefer.

#7: Get outside during the day. Fresh air and sunlight are essential to your health and well-being. If you’re cooped up inside all day, especially in winter, the low sunlight levels will depress your metabolism, your energy level and your mood.

High levels of stress can be a symptom of poor time-management skills. To take back control of your time, get a free copy of my ebook Time Management Strategies and Tactics: A Workbook by putting your name and email address in the sidebar (top right).

Podcast on Solo Smarts: 24 Best Practices of Successful People

August 12, 2011 By Barry

I was the guest on the inaugural podcast of Solo Smarts, with Kelly McCausey.

In the podcast, I go through the 24 Best Practices of Successful People (one of my guest posts, on the FeelGooder blog).

During the introduction, I explain how I got started in coaching eighteen years ago, and why I’m affiliated with the International Coach Federation (ICF). I also talk about getting my very first client.

The main part of the podcast begins at the 11.14 mark, where Kelly and I start discussing the 24 Best Practices of Successful People:

Know your core values and design your professional and personal life around them.
Master the art of relationship building.
Identify your “successful” and “limiting” habits
Develop your leadership, management and coaching skills
Always do and be your personal best!
Life balance is bunk. What matters is that you are happy.
Give a little extra in all you do.
Use the power of consistent persistence.
Let others contribute to you. No man or woman is an island.
Take “massive action.”
Learn from your mistakes and be prepared to learn a lot.
Become a masterful networker and build your social capital.
Surround yourself with positive supportive people.
Eliminate or reduce the tolerations in your life
Un-yuck your life by creating a plan for optimal healthy living
Be self-ish. In order to be your best, you need to take care of yourself first.
Be a work-in-progress—always be learning.
Be a giver, a contributor, a person that makes a difference—a coach for others
Take risks and live each day with no regrets.
Learn to manage your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy and not just your time.
Know your strengths and use them as much as possible.
Stop working on your weaknesses or find a way to work around them.
Build the creative side of your brain.
Use the 4 magic words- more, less, start, stop.

During the podcast, we explore every item on this list. You’ll get to hear:

In-depth explanations about each point
Clear examples that help you to understand and apply the Best Practices
Some recommendations for further reading

To listen to the podcast, just go to Solo Smarts #1 and scroll down to the audio player (beneath the social networking sharing icons). Click on “Play” to start listening.

To listen to more of my podcasts, go to the Podcasts page on this site.

Journey Toward Personal and Professional Goals – Local Speaking Event

July 15, 2011 By Barry

Barry Demp Speaks at Career Path Network — Tuesday, July 19th at St. Irenaeus

Do you have questions about your job search? Do you feel like you’re going about it the right way? Do you feel like you could do better at planning and managing your time? Come to the Career Path Network event on Tuesday, July 19 to get some of your questions answered and revitalize your job search.

Barry Demp, who has appeared at St. Irenaeus before and presents at many of the area faith-based career groups, will help participants focus on strategies and tactics needed to improve their job search, time management and life style skills. Demp is a Master Certified Coach with over 29 years of sales and business development experience with a Fortune 500 company. In the past 19 years, he has worked with over 1,000 individuals and trained over 60 career coaches. His business and executive coaching services are complemented with life coaching.

Mr. Demp will field questions from the group and focus on breaking patterns in order to open up new worlds of possibility. Come prepared to ask about the most critical priorities and challenges you are facing in your ongoing job search.

This event will be followed by a structured networking session.

How To Register

RSVP to reserve your seat today by going to www.barrydemp.eventbrite.com.

Directions To Location

St. Irenaeus Church on Google

St. Irenaeus Career Path Online

Connect with us by joining our LinkedIn.com Group by searching – “St. Irenaeus Career Path Network”

Positive Motivation and Momentum To Start 2011

January 10, 2011 By Barry

2011 will offer many opportunities for change and challenges for both personal and professional growth. As these opportunities and challenges enter our lives, it is helpful to maintain a balanced perspective towards the positive outcomes that are developed from creating sustainable change. With this in mind, here are some thoughts to consider:

“The secret of man’s being is not only to live but to have something to live for.”

– Dostoyevsky

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: Your mind trancends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed of yourself to be.”

– Patanjali

“I expect to spend the rest of my life in the future so I want to be reasonably sure what kind of future it’s going to be. That is my reason for planning.”

– C.F. Kettering

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“I don’t know what your destiny will be but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to server.”

– Albert Schweitzer

I welcome the opportunity to learn how you are using tools and information to sustain your goals for 2011 and can be contacted at 248-740-3231 or through my website – Michigan Business and Personal Coach.

Motivational Quotes For Your 2011 Preparation

December 30, 2010 By Barry

Motivation will play a big factor as you prepare your personal life and career for the New Year. With this in mind, we encourage you to take a few moments and to read the quotes below and reflect on how you plan to make 2011 your best year yet. The entire team at Barry Demp Coaching wishes you a happy and prosperous 2011.

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”
– Virginia Satir

“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
– William James

“Everything that happens to you is your teacher. The secret is to learn to sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.”
– Polly B. Berends

“In the world that is constantly changing, there is no one subject that will serve you for the foreseeable future, let alone for the rest of your life. The most important skill to acquire now is learning how to learn.”
– John Naisbitt

“Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing.”
– Helen Keller

Making It Stick: Achieving Sustainable Change

December 15, 2010 By Barry

Coach Barry Demp was recently asked some questions about why people have great difficulty in achieving sustainable change in their lives. Here are a few excerpts from the interview:

What causes change to be difficult to sustain for many individuals?

There are three primary things that seem to affect people’s ability to change. First appears to be a lack of commitment. Second is an inadequate support structure both socially and structurally. And the third is the great difficulty people have turning new behavior into sustainable habits.

What are some of the things that you recommend for those who struggle with sustaining personal change?

Select only one, or very few, highly important commitments and provide ongoing rigorous support both on a social and structural level. Breakdown the goal into measurable milestones to make the goal that you set less overwhelming and more achievable.

You mentioned a Project Action Plan or Blueprint. What is that?

A Project Action Plan is a roadmap that allows you to identify and execute on a powerful committed goal with a clear destination. By designing specific, iterative action steps that you enjoy you will have a greater rate of success. Key ingredients that assist in seeing the best results from your action plan are establishing time sensitive tasks and using scoreboards to record and visualize your progress towards achieving your goal.

Visualize the Achievement of Your Goal

It is important to review your goal frequently. The more detailed you can make your vision, the more powerful it will be. Tools that you can use to help envision the achievement your goal are using a picture or image as a reminder, and creating relevant scorecards to measure progress.

Goal Affirmation

Every morning read your goal either silently or aloud. Reflect on your progress at the end of your day. Consider using a buddy system or a family member to help sustain the process. Additional support structures can include email and voicemail accountabilities.

Take Massive Action

Persistence and determination will keep you on the success track anytime obstacles stand in your way. By taking continuous massive action, you will eventually reach the point where nothing can stop you. What stopped you in the past is now just a tiny bump in the road.

Take One Specific Action

Take at least one specific action every day to propel you toward your goal. By taking continuous specific action, you develop the necessary discipline and momentum that you will need to achieve your goals. Any worthwhile goal requires sustained effort and continual organization such as placing important events or tasks in a calendar system. By consistently applying the methods above, you will develop the success habits that will enable you to achieve the goal that you desire.

Recommended reading resources from Barry Demp:

The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield

Getting Things Done by David Allen

Work Less, Make More by Jennifer White

Made to Stick by Chip Heath

Influencer: The Power to Change Anything

Making It Stick: Thoughts on Creating Sustainable Change

November 19, 2010 By Barry

We are only a few weeks away from the New Year and many people are beginning to plan for their New Years Resolution. A question on many peoples mind is often, “Why don’t over 90% of resolutions stick?”

In an article from FastCompany.com in 2005 there was an interesting statistic that shocked many that discussed the percentage of people who would actually change in the face of impending death. The article called “Change or Die” discussed the science and behavior behind people’s willingness or lack of willingness to change.

Below are some reasons why change is so challenging and also a few strategies to consider for improving your odds.

Identifying the Right Goal

The first step is to find a goal that is big enough to inspire you. Unless you are truly inspired to accomplish the goal, it is just a wish. By calling it a “goal”, you are affirming that (a) you desire it intensely, (b) you truly believe in your ability to achieve your goal and (c) you are willing to pay the price in advance for achieving your goal.

Document Your Goal

Writing out your goal stimulates the “filtering” part of your brain, called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). When you write down your goal, the RAS begins collecting relevant information, then sends results to the conscious part of your mind. It acts “behind the scenes”, causing you to become aware of opportunities that would have otherwise gone unnoticed. Make sure that the goal is positive, is written in the present tense, is action-oriented, and is specific and as detailed as possible.

Establish a Deadline

By setting a deadline, your subconscious is activated to ensure the achievement of your goal within the prescribed time frame. If you follow all of the steps in this process, and your projections are realistic, then you will achieve your goal by the deadline.

Determine the Benefit

You will only be compelled to achieve your goal if it is something that inspires you; something that causes such intense desire in you that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal. By writing down the reasons you want to achieve your goal, you’ll discover how intense your desire really is.

Identify the Roadblocks

There will probably be several elements standing between you and your goal. Make a list of these “challenges”, and rank them in order of priority. Then, begin taking action to remove each of the elements that stands in the way of the accomplishment of your goal.

I welcome the opportunity to learn how you have used the information posted in our “Making It Stick” blog series in your life and can be contacted at 248-740-3231 or through my website – Michigan Business and Personal Coach.

When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge – Barry Demp Coaching