Interview with Doug Gfeller, Part Two: My Coaching Style and my Journey as a Writer

August 6, 2014 By Barry

In this second excerpt (12 mins) from my interview with Doug Gfeller of The Coaching Perspective, we discuss:

What I do differently from other coaches, and how I aim to create “leveraged” coaching relationships.
How the idea of “givers gain” drives me in my work with my clients and gives me a sense of purpose.
Why I started my daily series The Quotable Coach (which Doug has shared with many friends and acquaintances) and wrote my book The Quotable Coach: Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom.
The way I use the quotes, adding a short, focused reflection and exercise, and how this has helped me send out a new email every day, Monday to Friday, for over two years.
My earlier experiences with writing, and particularly with corrections and feedback, which made me reluctant to put my work out there for many years.

Click “play” below to listen to this part of the interview:

[audio:http://www.thequotablecoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/CoachingPerspective-Part2.mp3|titles=Barry Demp and Doug Gfeller, “The Coaching Perspective”]

You can listen to the full interview, and other interviews with me, on my Podcasts page.

If you haven’t yet got your copy of The Quotable Coach: Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom, you can find out more about the book here or buy it directly from Amazon here.

Creating New Patterns, Facing Change and Managing Your Time Better [audio]

December 19, 2013 By Barry

This is a seven-minute excerpt from my appearance on BlogTalkRadio’s show On the Dean’s List, with host Dean la Douceur. In it, Dean and I discuss:

The quote “When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge.”
The blocks to change – what holds us back (e.g. fear of loss).
Top issues that clients seek my support with and how that’s changed over my career.
Time management, particularly in the light of new technology. “Time is the coin of your life.” [link to the quote]
Interpersonal communications, social media, and face-to-face conversations.

Simply click below to play the audio file.

[audio:http://www.thequotablecoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Deans-List-1.mp3|titles=Barry Demp, “On the Dean’s List”]

If you’d like to hear the whole of my interview with Dean la Douceur (37 minutes), please click here to visit my Podcasts page. You can listen to it online or download it.

Announcing My Newest Book: Masterful Relationships

March 13, 2012 By Barry

Masterful Relationships eBook ->

I am very pleased to announce that my newest workbook, Masterful Relationships, is now available in ebook form (as a .pdf file).

Just put your email address in the box in the sidebar to the right and you’ll receive a link to download your copy of Masterful Relationships, along with my previous two workbooks, Masterful Networking and Time Management Strategies and Tactics.

Masterful Relationships has seven short chapters, each with an exercise to help you put what you read into practice in your own life and work. The workbook focuses on professional relationships, but you can also use what you learn in your personal life.

Here’s a taste of what you’ll get inside

Chapter 1: Listening Actively – how to be fully present in your conversations and show your interest in others
Chapter 2: Serving Others – how to make a great impression and build on an initial connection
Chapter 3: Demonstrating Loyalty and Integrity – how to live out your values in your relationships
Chapter 4: Coaching, Leading and Managing – how to get the most from your employees and team members
Chapter 5: Building Social Capital – how to create high-quality relationships and repair damaged ones
Chapter 6: Networking Effectively – how to put in consistent effort for great results
Chapter 7: Gaining Trust – how to help colleagues, clients and friends trust you

To get access to your copy of Masterful Relationships, just enter your email address in the sidebar.

Thanksgiving: What Are You Grateful for?

November 22, 2011 By Barry

People who appreciate what they have and who they are seem to be far happier than those who constantly strive for more.

Whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving, take a few minutes to consider what you’re grateful for today.

One way to be happier long-term is to keep a gratitude journal or log-book. Look at each day through a pair of imaginary “gratitude glasses” that let you look at your world and examine the smallest things, as well as the bigger things, that you’re grateful for.

You might think about:

Your health
Your relationships
Your political freedom
Little moments in your life

Expressing Your Gratitude

It’s important to say thank you – to be gracious and appreciative about people’s gestures and deeds, both at work and at home. Simply saying “thank you” or writing a quick email makes it clear that you notice the efforts people make.

You can go further than that, though. Write regular thank you notes – see these as a once-a-day vitamins! Keep a stack of notecards nearby so that you can easily send a quick note when you go through your day wearing the “gratitude glasses”. Send a physical note, not just an email, whenever someone has performed some significant act for you.

In Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, one way of expressing love is “acts of service” and another is “words of praise and acknowledgement”. Make sure that you respond to other people’s acts of service appropriately, by thanking them and acknowledging what they’ve done: this helps improve your relationship.

What could go in your gratitude journal (or log) today? Who could you delight with a thank you note?

Be Happier in Your Career by Finding and Expressing Your True Values

November 2, 2011 By Barry

If you’re going in the wrong direction, derailing yourself intentionally is very difficult – but very worthwhile.

During the current economic troubles, many people’s plans have been derailed – and perhaps this has happened to you too. If so, see it as a time of excitement and opportunity: a chance to re-explore the question of what you were meant to do.

Alternatively, you may be carrying on in a role that hasn’t suited you for some time, if ever. Perhaps it’s time to do something different.

When people are doing what they’re meant to do, most of them have a big grin on their face. Do you? Consider this: How you spend your day and who you spend it with is your life.

Perhaps you feel that you have to spend your day around people who you’d rather not be with. Ask yourself: If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I do?

What Are Your Values?

Our core values rarely change – they’re constant throughout our lives. We can bring them to any situation and examine where and how they could be expressed.

Here are some questions you could ask yourself, based on my own core values:

What actions could you take to enjoy better health?
How could you show more integrity?
Where could you be more courageous?
What opportunities exist to build extraordinary relationships in your life?
How can you model greater leadership at work and at home?

Look at your skills and passions, and ask yourself how your values could be expressed through these. How could doing this be a catalyst for a new career opportunity?

If you’d like to receive regular updates from my blog straight to your feed reader, you can get the RSS feed by clicking here.

My Favorite Quote – And Why

September 7, 2011 By Barry

“When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg

For me, this quote demonstrates why coaching works and why it’s such a powerful force in our world today.

This quote also works in reverse: by identifying new worlds we want to pursue, we find the capacity to break old patterns.

As a coach, I work with clients to identify their current world, and to identify the world of the future that they’re committed to. This commitment provides leverage and motivation so that they can change what they’re doing and break away from those old patterns. It helps them to be self-accountable and to self-manage. My role is simply to remind them of their commitments and their values.

What old patterns do you want to do less of, or to stop?

What new worlds do you want more of, or to start?

Podcast on Solo Smarts: 24 Best Practices of Successful People

August 12, 2011 By Barry

I was the guest on the inaugural podcast of Solo Smarts, with Kelly McCausey.

In the podcast, I go through the 24 Best Practices of Successful People (one of my guest posts, on the FeelGooder blog).

During the introduction, I explain how I got started in coaching eighteen years ago, and why I’m affiliated with the International Coach Federation (ICF). I also talk about getting my very first client.

The main part of the podcast begins at the 11.14 mark, where Kelly and I start discussing the 24 Best Practices of Successful People:

Know your core values and design your professional and personal life around them.
Master the art of relationship building.
Identify your “successful” and “limiting” habits
Develop your leadership, management and coaching skills
Always do and be your personal best!
Life balance is bunk. What matters is that you are happy.
Give a little extra in all you do.
Use the power of consistent persistence.
Let others contribute to you. No man or woman is an island.
Take “massive action.”
Learn from your mistakes and be prepared to learn a lot.
Become a masterful networker and build your social capital.
Surround yourself with positive supportive people.
Eliminate or reduce the tolerations in your life
Un-yuck your life by creating a plan for optimal healthy living
Be self-ish. In order to be your best, you need to take care of yourself first.
Be a work-in-progress—always be learning.
Be a giver, a contributor, a person that makes a difference—a coach for others
Take risks and live each day with no regrets.
Learn to manage your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy and not just your time.
Know your strengths and use them as much as possible.
Stop working on your weaknesses or find a way to work around them.
Build the creative side of your brain.
Use the 4 magic words- more, less, start, stop.

During the podcast, we explore every item on this list. You’ll get to hear:

In-depth explanations about each point
Clear examples that help you to understand and apply the Best Practices
Some recommendations for further reading

To listen to the podcast, just go to Solo Smarts #1 and scroll down to the audio player (beneath the social networking sharing icons). Click on “Play” to start listening.

To listen to more of my podcasts, go to the Podcasts page on this site.

Your Best Future Self

February 25, 2011 By Barry

A favorite exercise that I use in my Personal Excellence Training is for my clients to describe their best future self in the coming year and beyond. They often ask numerous questions for clarification and I end up answering them by saying something like. “What are the qualities and characteristics of the people you most admire?”

Below are some additional questions for your consideration if you too are thinking about your best future self:

Who are the most inspiring leaders you have ever seen or met? What characteristics make or made them so great?
Who do your know that most exemplifies integrity, honor, and compassion? How do they best demonstrate these characteristics?
Who do you know that is an outstanding husband/wife, father, or mother? What makes them stand out in these roles?
Who do your know that is in optimum health? What are their daily routines and habits?
Who do your know that demonstrates, confidence, courage, creativity, and a strong desire to contribute their best to others?
What other values do you most admire in others?

By observing the very best in others and modeling these behaviors and qualities in our own lives, we can all become the best version of ourselves.

Please let me know what characteristics you most admire and your thoughts about this post by contacting me at www.dempcoaching.com.

Tactical Time Management Tips

September 24, 2010 By Barry

Improving your time management starts with simple steps that act as momentum builders towards greater time use and efficiency.

Consider implementing one of the time management suggestions below into your life this week and let us know how it is helping you. Here are some tactical time management tips for you to use:

Learn to say “NO” in an appropriate way. You may be pleasing others at your own expense.
Consider delegating more tasks to co-workers or family members. Jobs that you are currently doing may actually be developmental opportunities for others. Select at least two items at work and one at home that you will delegate. Next week, select more.
Consider effectiveness over efficiency. Whom do you know that accomplishes more in 8 hours than others do in 10 or 12 hours?
Discard some of the stuff in your life. Stuff has to be maintained, and this takes time. What stuff in your life requires too much maintenance?
Let others work for you. If your time is worth $250.00 per hour, how many services could you hire out for just one hour of your time? Buy prepared food, have supplies delivered, shop via catalog, pay bills online, stop doing errands, have someone “clean out” your junk mail and your spam e-mail, hire a house-cleaner, a driver, and a personal organizer, etc. Choose one or two and put this support structure in place by the end of the week.

Barry Demp is a highly-skilled Michigan Business and Personal coach focused on the areas of leadership, management, coaching, team-building, networking, business development, communication skills, relationship building, motivation, time management, life balance, and goal achievement. He specializes in working with business owners, executives, coaches, consultants, and high-potential professionals by helping them significantly increase their productivity, profitability, and life balance. For more information or assistance, please contact Barry Demp at 248-740-3231 or visit www.dempcoaching.com.